Guilt
by 39CluesStrangerThingsFan-Star
Summary: My take on what Sinead felt during Cahills vs. Vespers. Written for the Writers Anonymous Character Development challenge.


**So, when I was looking at forums, I found Writers Anonymous. They had a contest to try and change someone's point of view on a character. I decided maybe I could do that. I've chosen to "develop" Sinead Starling. Hopefully my idea for this works. Enjoy.**

* * *

Perched on a high branch of the tall oak tree, sat a little starling. Looking at it closer, Sinead Starling wondered if, perhaps, her last name came from the little bird. She watched the bird as he continued to hop on the tree, before finally taking flight. When it flew away, Sinead continued her walk. It was only six in the morning, and she had the entire park to herself. She wasn't busy worrying about lost homework or clean clothes. She didn't have to worry about those type of things. She didn't even have to worry about anything for that matter. Her life was perfect. Except for she and her brothers.

Sinead loved her brothers, Ned and Ted, so much! They were triplets after all. Even though she loved them, she couldn't change anything about them. They had been hurt in an explosion. All three of them. It had left Ted blind, Ned having constant headache. She had tried everything to help them. Nothing seemed to work to heal them. Ever.

Sinead tossed her smoky, red hair over her shoulder. It hurt her to think that her brothers would never be the same. Neither would she, for that matter. Scars, placed strategically, all over her body. That was her only flaw. She had given up even trying to hide them. One, no matter how hard she tried, always worked its way into view. Nothing would ever be the same for the Starling triplets. Sometimes Sinead just wished she could fly away from everything, just like the little starling she had seen.

She continued her walk quickly to avoid the early morning traffic. That was the one, and only, thing she disliked about Attleboro, Massachusetts, traffic. In Vermont, where she had grown up, she never had to worry about the traffic, it was just peaceful. Unlike this place. The only reason she even gave up her Vermont life for here, was her best friend, Amy Cahill. After all, Amy had given up her guest house, just for Sinead. But, for some reason, Sinead always feared that they would have a fight, and be torn apart. Right now, her and Amy were as close as could be. Sleepovers? Always! Late night girly talks? Of course! It was the best! Amy was the best friend. Sinead had hoped it would stay that way, forever!

Sinead rushed home quickly. When she got there, she showered and arranged her hair neatly, before going to work. This time her project was, solar panels. She was installing them for Amy, that way the electrical bill wasn't as high. Amy told her not to bother, but Sinead didn't listen. She always did what she could, at least what she could for her friends. She was that kind of friend.

She soon heard Amy waking up, and quickly busied herself on the roof. Within a few moments, she looked down and saw Amy cuddling with her boyfriend, Evan Tolliver, on a bench. It looked like they were publicizing their relationship to the world. Then, there was Dan, Amy's brother, spying on them. It wasn't til now that Sinead realized why Amy called him a dweeb. She wasn't related him, well not too closely. Sinead was only a distant cousin. If even related that close.

* * *

It was a month later. Sinead knew that she had to do this. She had always wanted Amy to trust her, but, to Sinead, right now, her brothers were more important. Looking at a photo of the hostages, she quickly changed the coloration on the lizard in the photo. Out of all the hostages the Vespers had captured, the lizard had to sit on Nellie Gomez's shoulder. Sinead just hoped the color variation would lead the others to Brazil. The hiding place of Isabel Kabra, Ian's mom. _Well, at least they won't suspect me._ Sinead chuckled to herself. It was an art being this devious. An art she had _mastered._

Later, Sinead felt bad. She was one step from betraying her best friend. Even closer to betraying her entire, extended family. Did she even want that? Of course she didn't, but she needed to do this for her brothers. Her brothers, her reason for everything. Her reason for joining the Vespers.

* * *

She had made herself known. Everyone knew what she had done. Everyone knew that she, Sinead Starling, was the Vesper mole. Now Amy didn't trust her. What Sinead had always feared would happen, did. It was Sinead's fault it happened. She should've never joined the Vespers. It felt terrible to be the traitor. She thought trying to help would gain her trust. Instead it made her situation even worse.

"I don't need your help!" Amy had shouted at her. It was way too obvious that she was mad.

"Yes you do." Sinead tried to reason with Amy. "I joined the Vespers for my brothers. I would never betray you if it wasn't for them."

"You admit it. You betrayed us. All of us." Amy was furious.

"I'm sorry! I tried to do it without you knowing." Sinead was close to tears. She was losing her best friend.

"No you're not! You'll never be sorry for this! You'll always be a traitor. Always!" Amy was worked up, over a simple mistake. A mistake Sinead had made.

"Fine. I could've showed you how to get to the hostages." Sinead started to walk away.

"Show me! You'll still be the traitor, but you have to show me." Amy wasn't giving up that easily.

"Fine. I'll help you." Sinead smirked. Amy had no idea she had actually asked Sinead to help.

"It's not helping. It's showing." Amy growled.

"I can't show you, unless I truly help you." Sinead told her.

"Fine. Help me, see if I even care." Amy hissed through her teeth.

Sinead led the way. Through the corridors, they followed her to the room in which, the hostages were kept. When they got there, unlocked the door, and were in, it was a fight to rescue the remaining six. The Vespers were everywhere. They fought with all their might. Even the hostages, Nellie Gomez, Fiske Cahill, Natalie Kabra, Ted Starling, Phoinex Wizard, and Reagan Holt, joined in the fight. Natalie tried to destroy the doomsday device, using a metal pipe. Instead, she ended up getting electrocuted. Nobody could've saved her. Then there was Evan. One Vesper shot him right in the chest, while no one was looking. Even with the blood pouring out, no one, not even Amy, noticed. At least not until it was too late. Sinead felt all the guilt. She was one of the Vespers. She felt responsible, in a way. It was like she had actually killed them herself.

* * *

After the hostages had been saved, Amy tried to forgive Sinead. Amy pleaded and pleaded. Sinead wouldn't buy it. She couldn't. She had done too much wrong to be forgiven. Amy had yelled at her, hadn't even trusted her. Now, even though Amy set it aside, Sinead decided she wasn't to be forgiven. Ever. It hurt to feel forgiven after what she had done. Couldn't Amy see that? Of course not, Amy had always been perfect. Maybe that's why she kept offering the guest house.

"No. I'm going to live with my brothers somewhere." Sinead explained.

"But I forgave you." Amy pleaded.

"I can't live here either way. My brothers need me." Sinead turned, walking away to the waiting car.

* * *

She moved in with her brothers, but still felt pain. How could she get rid of the guilt? She tried to keep her mind off of it, but nothing worked. She felt the guilt all the time. It was normal, she guessed, for someone like her. Someone who had done too much wrong. Someone who could never, truly, be forgiven. Someone who had betrayed her family. Her best friend. Even her brothers. She had practically killed Natalie and Evan. She couldn't be forgiven for that. She couldn't be forgiven for anything.

One thing was certain. Sinead Starling was, and will always be, a traitor.

* * *

 **Here it is! I updated it a little. Lots of times! I have time. Anyway. Hope you enjoyed. Please check out my forum to suggest a fandom for me to move to.**


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